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Category: Humor and Jokes on Philately

Vanity keeps Philately alive!

“It’s true that young people don’t write letters or really know what stamps are, and that, generally speaking, stamp collecting is for an older generation that is slowly dying out, so far fewer people collect stamps nowadays than they did in the past,” says Douglas Muir, senior curator of philately at The Postal Museum in London. “But people are still extremely honoured if they appear on stamps, and you get far more publicity about stamps in newspapers these days than you ever used to.”

Etching your way into history by Royalty; Politicians and by those genuine accomplisher is something we have accepted, much like many other unquestioned impositions.

However over the last few decades, vanity by the commoners ( like me) have infested both the digital and real world.

If you are not on LinkedIn, and/or Facebook, and/or Twitter and/or Whatsapp and/or etc etc. You are probably non-existent ( and if I can be audacious enough to say irrelevant) as far as the digital world is concerned.

And if you are, well, of course you are. You are reading my blog. You have a reign and rein on your digital presence. You would have possibly and surely succumbed to this plague which is called vanity.

It strikes quietly uncontrollably and unconscious to many, to others it’s merely a competitive response.

And how it grows, triggers are everywhere must have been your surprise birthday party ( you had no idea you ruled so many hearts ) or your newly minted certification at a course ( latent genius ) or a recent acquisition ( hope we are taking Tesla and not Lamborghini). Or just a change of partnership ( personal or professional – everybody cares).

We post, and we share and we like and we go viral with this infestation of our glorious feet’s and hourly and weekly sense of dis appropriate accomplishments with the unfailing assumption that the world won’t “live another day” till they applauded to your blessed existence ( even if they don’t)

Well, who am I to preach, who in this crazy world doesn’t want the love ( as fake as it might be) ! It’s human to be vain.

So here I am sharing the opportunity for you to continue your persuasion in vanity into the glorious pages of history, or should I say sheet, ahem- may be just say, adhesive paper.

Many lovely desperate ( for commercial viability) postal departments of a few countries have found your sweet spot.

Vanity and they are at your service to flame your fire.

Getting on a stamp

Until quite recently, appearing on a stamp used to be something of a double-edged honour. In most countries, unless you were the head of state, one crucial condition for being so honoured on a postage stamp was that you were dead – and have been that way for at least five years.

In the UK, the birthplace of the postage stamp, the first living recipient of this honour was Sir Francis Chichester, whose boat Gipsy Moth IV, featuring its skipper’s definite if unidentifiable image as a small figure on deck, appeared on stamps in 1967 in celebration of the sailor’s singlehanded circumnavigation of the world.

Until then, the ban on picturing living people on stamps was an unwritten Post Office rule in the UK, and therefore the commonwealth stamp world and one that is still broken only rarely, and not always overtly. 

A stamp in 1999 honouring Freddie Mercury, the singer with the band Queen, who had died eight years previously, also featured in the background the unmistakable figure of the band’s drummer, the very-much-still-alive Roger Taylor.

But the tribute of the first starring role as a living subject on a stamp was reserved for cricketers Michael Vaughan and Freddie Flintoff after England’s victory over Australia in the Ashes series in 2005.

In the US, a statutory restriction on the use of portraits of the living on currency, dating from 1866, was also applied to postage – until in 2011, the United States Postal Service announced it was “dropping a rule that currently requires an individual to have been deceased at least five years before being honoured on a stamp”. 

In a move that looked suspiciously like a cynical effort to make philately both cool and commercially viable again, members of the public were urged to use social media – ironically – to nominate “acclaimed musicians, sports stars, writers, artists and other nationally-known figures” for consideration as subjects for stamps.

Well, now that was a start, but not quite so enamouring to the younger generation ( who we are counting upon to carrying on the baton of philatelic pursuits and not render our vintage collections worthless)

So how do we solve a problem like Mariaaaa… as the song goes.

Aha! #HarryPotter is summoned and #Avengers are called in #Starwars and #StarTrek collide while #lordoftherings vibe with #GamesoftheThrones and of course the #Pixar and #Disneyland characters have there own special commemoratives to ensure everlasting place in #philatelic history.

All this efforts to lure the young into stamp collecting. A win-win commercial arrangement.

Well if you are famous ( and saleable) anybody and nobody who has earned instant fame over the last few quarters are now on an adhesive paper which in other words is called a collectors item.

I have this uncanny premonition that publicists and advertising agencies will soon feel very threatened about their livelihood. Superstars shortcut to the hearts, minds and albums of their fans are just a call away to the post office stamp artists team!

Well, do we stop here. Oh no! We don’t. Vanity is much much more personal.

It’s not good enough that I have the entire collection of #wonderwoman stamps. I am wondering woman – why am I not on a stamp!

So, voila the not so artificial intellect of our friendly neighbourhood post office just went into a eureka nebulous state.

Selfie Stamps wave.

Postage stamp with your own ( or family) picture is the latest missile launched by postal offices of various countries such as USA, UK, Australia, Austria, Bhutan, Canada, Finland, India, Indonesia, New Zealand and a few more.

For example, The United States Post Office allows you to make custom postage stamps from your own photos, but you must use one of the organization’s approved third-party vendors. As explained on the U.S.P.S. website, custom stamps can be designed and purchased from PhotoStamps, PictureItPostage and Zazzle.

You can get your personalized stamps in a variety of sizes and monetary values. Most vendors also offer a collection of stock images you can use for your stamps. You can use your own logos and graphics to create postage, postcards and envelopes as well — which can come in handy for wedding announcements, family reunions and other events.

Custom postage stamps cost more than the standard versions available at the post office. Prices vary by vendor, stamp size and amount.

So as you can read, we are been nudged to remain self indulgent and in our family history be itched as the first’s to be on a postage stamp.

I wonder, if this doesn’t do the trick for keeping philately alive…. what will !

Yours truly vain,

Kheyati

HILARIOUS POSTAGE STAMP DESIGNS @ BRITS’ BREXIT

In the UK, specially-designed stamps honor cultural fixations and key anniversaries. It’s comes as no surprise that many Brits were bothered by the Royal Mail’s decision not to issue a special stamp to mark the  UK’s withdrawal from the European Union by April 2019—arguably the most defining event in its recent history.

A few decades ago, a 1973 commemorative set that marked the year the UK joined the European Economic Community (which became part of the EU in 1993). But nothing to commemorate Brexit. Disappointingly.

There have been plenty funny attempt to design a Brexit Stamps. In this article, I share with you some of these hilarious attempts.

Collectively, they capture anxiety, regret, anger, and sorrow for the impending separation with the rest of Europe—all delivered with characteristic dry wit.

Hashtag #BrexitStamps, are mini masterpieces of savage British humor (and impressive Photoshop skills).

Coded Messages of Love

Postal deliveries were such a celebration in yonder years by one and all– so it was practically impossible to get mail to someone without the entire household knowing about it. At a time when ‘Victorian morals’ were central and privacy wasn’t, this made personal, private messaging between couples very difficult.

So, how did they speak their feelings without writing it?

They coded it into the positioning of their stamps.

Apparently the ‘secret stamp code’ actually emerged back in the ‘receiver pays’ mail era as a way to dodge exorbitant postal fees. The sender could encode a simple answer into the placement of their stamp on the envelope – perhaps ‘yes’, ‘no’, or ‘come at once’. The receiver could then examine the envelope, extract the message and then refuse to pay the delivery fee for the unopened letter.

Obviously, this became redundant in the ‘penny post’ era but later couples adopted the system for their own needs. Here’s an example.

Will writes to Miss Laura Leech

The postcard above appears perfectly innocent to anyone scanning it. Will is asking Laura if “Bob is having some dainty dishes“. A little oblique – perhaps an ‘in-joke’ – but nothing improper.

In reality, the stamp tells another story. Will was telling Laura: “I’m longing to see you“.

This stamp messaging system was used across the postal systems of the world although there was significant variation between countries. Some system relied on where the stamp was placed on the postcard while others were concerned only its orientation to the page.

The system was remarkably subtle and sophisticated. Messages could be as simple as ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ but also as complex as:

  • “May I ask for your portrait?”
  • “Take care. We’re being watched.”
  • “I think you are very ungrateful.”
  • “My heart is another’s”
  • “I have discovered your deceipt.”

Of course, postcard companies often saw the code as a great opportunity to sell more postcards. They printed millions of these stamp messaging guides from the 1890s onward, though there was never a centralized body standardizing the code from region to region. Variation and mutation happen naturally.

As a consequence, some guides prescribe that a 90º right-turned stamp means a hopeful “Reply at once!“, while other guides would interpret the same stamp as “I wish for your friendship, but no more“.

I suspect there must have been thousands of star-crossed lovers who’s dreams were dashed by a misread coded message from a potential partner. Who would have thought that the mundane act of attaching a stamp to a letter could be loaded with such social danger?

Yet, the mystery and the wait was worth it in those times. The Instant world of today cannot phantom this evolution!

Did you know ? Fun facts on philately

Guinness World record for HM QEII

In April 2001 Gibraltar achieved a Guinness World Record by issuing the fastest stamp in history. A photograph of HM Queen Elizabeth II was taken that morning at Buckingham Palace for the Gibraltar stamps,. The photo was emailed immediately to the Bureau’s office in Gibraltar where the sheet was designed by Stephen Perera and then sent to the printers who commenced printing at 10.00am that same day. At midday, a representative of the Crown Agents flew to Gibraltar with the printed stamps and the stamps were put on sale that same afternoon (exactly 624 minutes after the photograph was taken.) The media published the story as follows; “Gibraltar gives a World Record to HM Queen Elizabeth II for Her Birthday!

Abdul Rasul’s trove of 5,915 mosque stamps sets a world record

Mr. Rasul, a 41-year-old IT professional who has entered the Guinness Book of Records for the largest collection of 5,915 stamps featuring mosques. The oldest stamp in his possession was released by the Afghanistan government in 1892. Mr. Rasul also has a rare stamp with inverted centre — printed upside down — released in Somalia in 1902. 

There have been postage stamps that are records

Bhutan, an Asian nation in the Himalayan Mountains, issued a group of postage stamps that were actually phonograph records. These stamps, issued in 1973, had native folk songs recorded on one side and could be played on a record player. 

Products were advertised on the back of stamps? 

Sometime before 1883 advertising for various products was printed on the back of U.S. three-cent stamps. 

Candles were once used to determine the postage rates? 

In 1693, letters were held in front of a candle to determine the postage rate. The less the light shone through, the more costly the rate. This was known as candling. 

An undersea post office actually did exist! 

It was established in 1939 as part of a scientific facility on the sea bed off the Bahamas. They used a special oval postmark that was inscribed “SEA FLOOR/BAHAMAS”. Here you can see the post office depicted on Bahamas 5 shilling stamp issued in 1965. 

A stamp was created on the Moon! 

In 1969 during the Apollo 11 moon flight, the astronauts took with them a die of a postage stamp which they pulled an impression of when they touched down on the moon. Thus, creating the moon’s first postage stamp! Once the die was returned to earth it was used to produce the 10 cent airmail stamp issued in September of 1969. 

The world’s largest; smallest and Oldest post offices! 

Chicago – biggest post office
Ochopee, Florida – smallest post office
Sanquhar Post Office (Scotland) – oldest working post office

The world’s largest post office is the head post office in Chicago, Illinois. The smallest post office in the world is located in Ochopee, Florida. 

Sanquhar Post Office (Scotland) has the exclusive title of oldest working post office in the world. Having been in continuous operation since 1712, the tiny post office has more than a 300-year history.

Can you believe Cats were used to deliver the mail! 

I’ve heard of many different types of animals being used to deliver mail – camels, reindeer, horses, dogs, pigeons, but CATS? Well it’s true. In 1879 Liege, Belgium employed 37 cats to carry bundles of letters to villages. This service didn’t last long as cats proved to be thoroughly undisciplined. 

Great Britain is the only country which issues stamps without its name printed on them. 

Instead the profile of the monarch appears on British stamps. The Universal Postal Union allows this because Britain was the first country to issue stamps. 

The first post offices in America were bags hung in taverns. 

The mail was handled by captains of ships. 

When stamps were first issued, they had no gum on the back. 

And if paste was not available, mailers sometimes pinned or even sewed stamps to envelopes. 

The first touch of humor did not appear on a U.S. stamp until 1963. 

The 5-cent City Mail delivery stamp was issued for the 100th anniversary of free city mail delivery. The design, by Norman Rockwell, featured a letter carrier holding an umbrella, followed by a smiling boy and a little dog.

Mail missiles ;)

It was a cold day in January of 1959 when United States Postmaster General, Arthur E. Summerfield, thought he had stumbled upon a stroke of genius. Not one to dilly dally with such a mental feat, he hastily made a bold and proud statement promising tax-paying citizens that before man reached the moon, “your mail will be delivered within hours from New York to California, to England, to India or to Australia by guided missiles.” He nearly made his prediction a reality. Just six months later, on June 9, he launched a Regulus I guided missile carrying 3,000 pieces of souvenir mail. High-ranking officials such as President Eisenhower and Supreme Court justices were among the lucky recipients.

On June 8, 1959, the U.S. Navy submarine USS Barbero launched a nuclear-capable turbojet cruise missile towards a naval base in Mayport, Florida. And after 100 miles and just over 20 minutes in the air, it would deliver its payload. Not a 4,000-pound warhead like it was designed to hold, but rather letters, performing the the United States’ first and last official missile mail delivery.

“This peacetime employment of a guided missile for the important and practical purpose of carrying mail is the first known official use of missiles by any post office department of any nation,” Summerfield claimed.

Summerfield’s missile was fired from the U.S.S. Barbero submarine 100 miles off the Atlantic coast to a naval air station near Jacksonville, FL. Navy planes guided the missile by radio control to its parachute landing in just 22 minutes. The Postmaster said this novel way of sending birthday cards, pen pal letters, and unwanted junk mail was “of historic significance to the peoples of the entire world.”

Cost-efficiency doomed Summerfield’s plan. But expenses weren’t the only criticism of the high-flying Missile Mail. The day after the launch, the Los Angeles Times observed that the real need for speed was in handling mail before and after transport: “We hopefully look forward to the time when the lines in front of post office windows are jet propelled. Or when rocket belts are issued to those who manage to take a week to deliver a letter mailed within the same city.”

Philatelic Humor


Smile 🙂

1. A young collector asked an old advanced philatelist how he made his collection so advanced and valuable. The old guy had a look at the young nuisance and said, “Well, young man, it was in 1940 when I got a bunch of old letters from an uncle, I soaked off the stamps, dried them and put them in a presentation folder. I spent four days on this, after which I sold the stamps at my school for a cool 4 dollars. “The next morning, I invested those four dollars in some more stamps on paper. I spent the next four days on them and sold them afterwards for 6 dollars. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of 200 dollars. “Then my uncle died and left me his collection worth two million dollars…”


2. Fresh out of business school, a young man answered a want ad for an accountant.
Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small stamp dealership that he had started himself. 
“I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said.”But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.” 
“Excuse me?” the accountant said. 
“I worry about a lot of things like mailing packets, putting up items for auction, replying
to customers” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.”
“I see,” the accountant said. “And how much does the job pay?”
“I’ll start you at eighty thousand.”
“Eighty thousand dollars!” the accountant exclaimed. “How can a stamp business afford 
a sum like that?”
“That,” the stamp dealer said, “is your first worry.”

3. Larry’s stamp collection was stolen, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance company:
“We had that collection insured for fifty thousand and I want my money”. Agent: “Whoa there just a minute, Susan. It doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the collection and provide you with a similar one of comparable worth”. Susan, after a pause: “I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband…”

4. A customer walks into a stamp shop and notices a large sign on the wall,
“500 DOLLARS IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER!” When the shop attendant arrives, he asks for a mint copy of the US 1 dollar Inverted Lamp. The shop attendant calmly writes down the details and walks into the shop owner’s office where all hell breaks loose! The shop owner comes storming out of the office. He runs up to the customer’s side, slaps five 100 dollars bills down and says, “You got me that time buddy, but I want you to know that’s the first time in ten years we’ve been out of a mint copy of this issue!” “Could have saved these 500 bucks if only you would have ordered a used copy!!”

5. One day, Hassan decided to start stamp collection. He knows that the Penny Black is the oldest stamp so he asks Genie: “Genie, I want you to give me the Penny Black stamp. Remember to bring it here in good conditions.That’s my first demand. ” After a few minutes Gene returns: “Here you are!” and he gives Hassan a Penny Black used stamp.
Hassan is very happy but after a few minutes… “No Genie, I want it in better condtion. That’s my second demand”. Genie flies again and this time he gives Hassan a Penny Black mint stamp. Hassan is very happy but after a few minutes, he says: “No Genie, I want it in even better, in the original condtion. That’s my third demand.”Then Genie flies away again and returns momentarly: “Master, here is the best, original I could find.”
And then, Hassan sees the Queen Victoria standing in front of him.

6. A priest goes to the post office to buy stamps for his Christmas cards. He says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps, please?” The clerk replies, “What denomination?” God help us. Has it come to this?” the priest answers. Give me six Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptist!”

7. A stamp dealer dies and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, “We don’t let just anybody in here, you know. Have you ever done any kind deeds?” 

The dealer thinks and think and thinks, and then his face brightens and he says, “Yeah! There was this kid. He kept coming in my shop after school, day after day. He was always looking at one stamp in my showcase. One day he says, ‘Mister, would you take a dime for that stamp? It’s all I’ve got.’ That stamp was worth a quarter, but I wanted to get rid of the brat, so I sold it to him for a dime.” 

“I see,” said St. Peter. He pauses for few moments of heavenly reflection. “OK, here’s what we’ll do.” He hands the dealer a dime and says, “Take this dime, and go to Hell!” :^)

8. Two wives gossip:  “You know, my husband is a heavy drinker – I think he might be an alcoholic!” The other wife replies: “Alcoholic? I have worse: my husband is a filibuster, oh no, no, he is a syphilist or something like that… .”

Voice from adjacent room: “how many times I have to tell you that I am a philatelist!”

9.THE IRISH VIRGIN 
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and 
very proud of it. 
Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring 
to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went 
to the town’s undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal 
clerk) to make the proper “final” arrangements. 

As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the 
following inscription engraved on her tombstone: “BORN A VIRGIN, 
LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN” 

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the 
funeral, as the undertaker–postal clerk went to prepare the 
tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that 
the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the 
wording that she had chosen. 

He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid’s 
final request, considering the very limited space available on the 
small piece of stone. 

For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience 
as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was 
the appropriate solution to the problem. 

The virgin’s tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and 
it 
read as follows: 

“RETURNED UNOPENED”

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